Farewell to part of my intestines, you were useless and quite frankly, a pain in the ass. May you rot in the bin whilst I’m out enjoying the summer.
English girls can be so mean.
If you’re ever going to get tonsillitis, do so when your in hospital. Never had so many IV’s in one day before.
To the girl who was playing ‘Skinny Love’ on the piano @ St Thomas’ hospital today- Marry me?